i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
