i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
