I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
