and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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