we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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