As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
