Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
