Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
