At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How naked do you want me to be?
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