Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Do vagina's smell?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
