i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
