im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
