I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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