oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
