with your own penis?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
