She said her name was "party"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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