While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize