Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
