so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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