Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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