I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
