I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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