Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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