I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
