The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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