Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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