I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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