I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
