He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize