A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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