Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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