Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
