hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Panties = found
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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