i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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