Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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