so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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