Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
