Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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