She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
