who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
