It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
