We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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