I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize