Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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