i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
