never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
