It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
