I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
