i barfeds in our rink
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
