She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
