clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
