So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
