so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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