I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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