You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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