I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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