I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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