Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
